Giambi’s Gold Thong is Golden
Daniel Paulling
The things that are considered news are sometimes strange. Just last week, the media was salivating at the fact that Jason Giambi was passing a golden thong around the Yankees clubhouse. With the Yankees’ disappointing start to the season, this was welcome fodder to kick a team while it was down. Jim Rome, crafty as he is, was ready to “burn” the team repeatedly.
But you know what? That golden thong perfectly symbolizes the major league clubhouse. It blends the ritual of doing anything to break a slump with the fraternity-like atmosphere of clubhouses. If you’re hitting 0-for-August, you’re going to try something -- anything -- to get going again.
That’s the primo lesson Bull Durham teaches us. These rituals work because you believe they will work. Captain Jeter said so himself; Jeter hit a home run in his first at-bat after putting on the thong. And we shouldn’t be surprised that the golden thong was passed around. After all, these guys are together for seven months of the year, every single day.
Now, if Jim Rome and fans are so disgusted with this news and surprised, they shouldn’t be. Fans want “all-access” passes to their favorite team’s clubhouse. Well, here’s what happens in clubhouses. (Steroid use takes place bathroom stalls, if we believe Jose Canseco.) The media is all too happy to report it (or use it in their “wicked burns”) as long as fans want to listen.
We’re tuned in. And I think it will stay that way.
Who Cares About Giambi’s Underwear?
Jonathan Leshanski
So, who really cares if Jason Giambi is wearing a gold thong? In fact who cares if the whole Yankees team is? What is this, a marketing ploy? What fans care about is his performance on the field, not his choice in lingerie.
If the ex-steroid boy wants to impress us he needs to start speaking with his bat and get his average away from that Mendoza line. Everything else is irrelevant, Jason is being paid to hit, and paid to hit for power.
Just why any reporter or Jason thought his ‘lucky undergarment” was some kind of story baffles me. Does it affect the final score? So ballplayers, or some ballplayers at least, are superstitious, that’s not news. Does anyone really want the image of Jason Giambi in a thong running though their head, brrr....?
Hey Jason it’s simple, don’t try to distract us with you underwear, even if it’s a solid gold thong we don’t care. Baseball it is said is a simple game - hit the ball, catch the ball, throw the ball, and in your case the second and third part are optional.
And just remember it’s Michael Jordan’s underwear that most guys are wearing.
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